Anonymous asked
I went to Germany to visit family and there were family friends around my age invited for a party and when I told them I was from Florida they asked me if I went to the beach every day in Miami and how to get a good tan. I'm pale as fuck and four hours away from Miami. My cousins were too embarrassed to say I was from CENTRAL Florida and closer to Disney World, so instead they said I lived right outside of Miami. They got very uncomfortable very quickly.

fuckingflorida:

Living in florida automatically means to the world:
You live next to Disney world and go all the time
You live next to the beach and tan all the time
You live next to the Everglades and see gators all the time

WHEN ITS ACTUALLY NOT POSSIBLE TO DO ALL OF THOSE THINGS SINCE ORLANDO, COASTAL BEACHES, AND THE EVERGLADES ARE HOURS APART FROM EACH OTHER

phosphorescentt:

can we please destroy this idea that a person has to talk to you every minute of every day to like you

texting all day is not natural

force communication all hours of the day is not natural

disowns:

i fucking hate how i get attached so easily like i don’t understand. i meet someone new, find interest and BAM it’s like i can’t stop thinking about it. this needs to fucking stop

(Source: disowns)

If I wanted your boyfriend, I would have your boyfriend.

inlikewithlife:

chaotic-awesome:

I Don’t Know How Much Vodka I Put In This But I’m Going To Drink It Anyways: a memoir

This drink tastes awful, but I can’t waste alcohol: a sequel